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The Fourth BookChapter III.
Chapter III.
Of Many Pleasant Discourses Passed Between Don Quixote and Those of His
Company, After He Had Abandoned the Rigorous Place of His Penance
Scarce had the curate finished his speech thoroughly, when Sancho said,
`By my faith, master licentiate, he that did that feat was my lord, and that
not for want of warning, for I told him beforehand, and advised him that he
should see well what he did, and that it was a sin to deliver them, because
they were all sent to the galleys for very great villanies they had played.`
`You bottlehead,` replied Don Quixote, hearing him speak, `it concerneth
not knights - errant to examine whether the afflicted, the enchained, and
oppressed, which they encounter by the way, be carried in that fashion, or are
plunged in that distress, through their own default or disgrace, but only are
obliged to assist them as needy and oppressed, setting their eyes upon their
pains, and not on their crimes. I met with a rosary or beads of inserted
people, sorrowful and unfortunate, and I did for them that which my religion
exacts; as for the rest, let them verify it elsewhere: and to whosoever else,
the holy dignity and honourable person of master licentiate excepted, it shall
seem evil, I say he knows but slightly what belongs to chivalry, and he lies
like a whoreson and a villain born, and this will I make him know with the
broad side of my sword.` These words he said, settling himself in his
stirrups, and addressing his morion (for the barber`s basin, which he
accounted to be Mambrino`s helmet, he carried hanging at the pommel of his
saddle, until he might have it repaired of the crazings the galley - slave had
wrought in it). Dorothea, who was very discreet and pleasant, and that was by
this well acquainted with Don Quixote`s faulty humour, and saw all the rest
make a jest of him, Sancho Panza excepted, would also show her conceit to be
as good as some others, and therefore said unto him, `Sir knight, remember
yourself of the boon you have promised unto me, whereunto conforming yourself,
you cannot intermeddle in any other adventure, be it ever so urgent.
Therefore, assuage your stomach; for if master licentiate had known that the
galley - slaves were delivered by your invincible arm, he would rather have
given unto himself three blows on the mouth, and also bit his tongue thrice,
than have spoken any word whence might result your indignation.` `That I dare
swear,` quoth the curate; `yea, and besides torn away one of my moustaches.`
`Madam,` said Don Quixote, `I will hold my peace, and suppress the just
choler already enkindled in my breast, and will ride quietly and peaceably,
until I have accomplished the thing I have promised; and I request you, in
recompense of this my good desire, if it be not displeasing to you, to tell me
your grievance, and how many, which, and what the persons be, of whom I must
take due, sufficient, and entire revenge.` `I will promptly perform your will
herein,` answered Dorothea, `if it will not be irksome to you to listen to
disasters.` `In no sort, good madam,` said Don Quixote. To which Dorothea
answered thus: `Be then attentive to my relation.` Scarce had she said so,
when Cardenio and the barber came by her side, desirous to hear how the
discreet Dorothea would feign her tale; and the same did Sancho, which was so
much deceived in her person as his lord Don Quixote. And she, after dressing
herself well in the saddle, bethought and provided herself whilst she coughed
and used other gestures, and then began to speak on this manner:
`First of all, good sirs, I would have you note that I am called` - And
here she stood suspended a while, by reason she had forgotten the name that
the curate had given unto her. But he presently occurred to her succour,
understanding the cause, and said, `It is no wonder, great lady, that you be
troubled and stagger whilst you recount your misfortunes, seeing it is the
ordinary custom of disasters to deprive those whom they torment and distract
their memory in such sort as they cannot remember themselves even of their own
very names, as now it proves done in your highness, which forgets itself that
you are called the Princess Micomicona, lawful inheritrix of the great kingdom
of Micomicon. And with this note, you may easily reduce into your doleful
memory all that which you shall please to rehearse.`
`It is very true,` quoth the damsel, `and from henceforth I think it will
not be needful to prompt me any more, for I will arrive into a safe port with
the narration of my authentic history; which is, that my father, who was
called the wise Tinacrio, was very expert in that which was called art magic,
and he knew by his science that my mother, who was called Queen Xaramilla,
should die before he deceased, and that he should also pass from this life
within a while after, and leave me an orphan; but he was wont to say how that
did not afflict his mind so much, as that he was very certain that a huge
giant, lord of a great island near unto my kingdom, called Pandafilando of the
Dusky Sight (because, although his eyes stood in their right places, yet do
they still look asquint, which he doth to terrify the beholders), I say that
my father knew that this giant, when he should hear of his death, would pass
with a main power into my land, and deprive me thereof, not leaving me the
least village wherein I might hide my head; yet might all this be excused if I
would marry with him. But, as he found out by his science, he knew I would
never condescend thereunto, or incline mine affection to so unequal a
marriage; and herein he said nothing but truth, for it never passed once my
thought to espouse that giant, nor with any other, were he ever so
unreasonable, and great, and mighty. My father likewise added then, that after
his death I should see Pandafilando usurp my kingdom, and that I should in no
wise stand to my defence, for that would prove my destruction; but, leaving to
him the kingdom freely without troubles, if I meant to excuse mine own death,
and the total ruin of my good and loyal subjects (for it would be impossible
to defend myself from the devilish force of the giant), I should presently
direct my course towards Spain, where I should find a redress of my harms by
encountering with a knight - errant whose fame should extend itself much about
that time throughout that kingdom, and his name should be, if I forgot not
myself, Don Azote or Don Gigote.`
`Lady, you would say Don Quixote,` quoth Sancho Panza, `or, as he is
called by another name, the Knight of the Ill - favoured Face.` `You have
reason,` replied Dorothea. `He said, moreover, that he should be high of
stature, have a withered face, and that on the right side, a little under the
left shoulder, or thereabouts, he should have a tawny spot with certain hairs
like to bristles.` Don Quixote, hearing this, said to his squire, `Hold my
horse here, son Sancho, and help me to take off mine apparel; for I will see
whether I be the knight of whom the wise king hath prophesied.` `Why would you
now put off your clothes?` quoth Dorothea. `To see whether I have that spot
which your father mentioned,` answered Don Quixote. `You need not undo your
apparel for that purpose,` said Sancho, `for I know already that you have a
spot with the tokens she named on the very ridges of your back, and argues you
to be a very strong man.` `That is sufficient,` quoth Dorothea; `for we must
not look too near, or be over - curious in our friends` affairs; and whether
it be on the shoulder, or ridge of the back, it imports but little, for the
substance consists only in having such a mark, and not wheresoever it shall
be, seeing all is one and the self - same flesh; and, doubtlessly, my good
father did aim well at all, and I likewise in commending myself to Don
Quixote; for surely he is the man of whom my father spoke, seeing the signs of
his face agree with those of the great renown that is spread abroad of this
knight, not only in Spain, but also in Ethiopia; for I had no sooner landed in
Osuna, when I heard so many of his prowesses recounted, as my mind gave me
presently that he was the man in whose search I travelled.` `But how did you
land in Osuna, good madam,` quoth Don Quixote, `seeing it is no sea town?`
`Marry, sir,` quoth the curate, anticipating Dorothea`s answer, `the princess
would say that after she had landed in Malaga, but the first place wherein she
heard tidings of you was at Osuna.` `So I would have said,` quoth Dorothea.
`And it may be very well,` quoth the curate; `and I desire your majesty to
continue your discourse.` `There needs no further continuation,` quoth
Dorothea, `but that, finally, my fortune hath been so favourable in finding of
Don Quixote, as I do already hold and account myself for queen and lady of all
mine estate, seeing that he, of his wonted bounty and magnificence, hath
promised me the boon to accompany me wheresoever I shall guide him, which
shall be to none other place than to set him before Pandafilando of the dusky
sight, to the end you may slay him, and restore me to that which he hath so
wrongfully usurped; for all will succeed in the twinkling of an eye, as the
wise Tinacrio, my good father, hath already foretold, who said moreover, and
also left it written in Chaldaical or Greek characters (for I cannot read
them), that if the knight of the prophecy, after having beheaded the giant,
would take me to wife, that I should in no sort refuse him, but instantly
admitting him for my spouse, make him at once possessor of myself and my
kingdom.`
`What thinkest thou of this, friend Sancho?` quoth Don Quixote then, when
he heard her say so. `How likest thou this point? Did not I tell thee thus
much before? See now, whether we have not a kingdom to command, and a queen
whom we may marry.` `I swear as much,` quoth Sancho. `A pox on the knave that
will not marry as soon as Master Pandahilado his windpipes are cut! Mount,
then, and see whether the queen be ill or no. I would to God all the fleas of
my bed were turned to be such!` And, saying so, he gave two or three friskles
in the air, with very great signs of contentment, and presently went to
Dorothea, and, taking her mule by the bridle, he withheld it, and, laying
himself down on his knees before her, requested her very submissively to give
him her hands to kiss them, in sign that he received her for his queen and
lady. Which of the beholders could abstain from laughter, perceiving the
master`s madness and the servant`s simplicity? To be brief, Dorothea must
needs give them unto him, and promised to make him a great lord in her
kingdom, when Heaven became so propitious to her as to let her once recover
and possess it peaceably. And Sancho returned her thanks with such words as
made them all laugh anew.
`This is my history, noble sirs,` quoth Dorothea, `whereof only rests
untold that none of all the train which I brought out of my kingdom to attend
on me is now extant but this well - bearded squire; for all of them were
drowned in a great storm that overtook us in the very sight of the harbour,
whence he and I escaped, and came to land by the help of two planks, on which
we laid hold, almost by miracle; as also the whole discourse and mystery of my
life seems none other than a miracle, as you might have noted. And if in any
part of the relation I have exceeded, or not observed a due decorum, you must
impute it to that which master licentiate said to the first of my history,
that continual pains and afflictions of mind deprives them that suffer the
like of their memory.` `That shall not hinder me, O high and valorous lady!`
quoth Don Quixote, `from enduring as many as I shall suffer in your service,
be they never so great or difficult; and therefore I do anew ratify and
confirm the promise I have made, and do swear to go with you to the end of the
world, until I find out your fierce enemy, whose proud head I mean to slice
off, by the help of God and my valorous arm, with the edge of this (I will not
say a good) sword, thanks be to Gines of Passamonte, which took away mine
own.` This he said murmuring to himself, and then prosecuted, saying, `And
after I have cut it off, and left you peaceably in the possession of your
state, it shall rest in your own will to dispose to your person as you like
best; for as long as I shall have my memory possessed, and my will captivated,
and my understanding yielded to her - I will say no more; it is not possible
that ever I may induce myself to marry any other, although she were a
Phoenix.`
That which Don Quixote had said last of all, of not marrying, disliked
Sancho so much, as, lifting his voice with great anger, he said, `I vow and
swear by myself that you are not in your right wits, Sir Don Quixote; for how
is it possible that you can call the matter of contracting so high a princess
as this is in doubt? Do you think that fortune will offer you, at every
corner`s end, the like hap of this which is now proffered? Is my Lady
Dulcinea, perhaps, more beautiful? No, certainly, nor half so fair; nay, I am
rather about to say that she comes not to her shoe that is here present. In an
ill hour shall I arrive to possess that unfortunate earldom which I expect, if
you go thus seeking for mushrubs in the bottom of the sea. Marry, marry
yourself presently, the devil take you for me, and take that kingdom comes
into your hands, and being a king, make me presently a marquis or admiral, and
instantly after let the devil take all if he pleaseth.`
Don Quixote, who heard such blasphemies spoken against his Lady Dulcinea,
could not bear them any longer; and therefore, lifting up his javelin, without
speaking any word to Sancho, gave him therewithal two such blows as he
overthrew him to the earth; and had not Dorothea cried to him to hold his
hand, he had doubtlessly slain him in the place.
`Thinkest thou,` quoth he after a while, `base peasant! that I shall have
always leisure and disposition to thrust my hand into my pouch, and that there
be nothing else but thou still erring and I pardoning? And dost not thou think
of it, excommunicated rascal! for certainly thou art excommunicated, seeing
thou hast talked so broadly of the peerless Dulcinea! And dost not thou know,
base slave! vagabond! that if it were not for the valour she infuseth into
mine arm, that I should not have sufficient forces to kill a flea? Say,
scoffer with the viper`s tongue! who dost thou think hath gained this kingdom,
and cut the head off this giant, and made thee a marquis (for I give all this
for done already, and for a matter ended and judged), but the worths and
valour of Dulcinea, using mine arm as the instrument of her act? She fights
under my person, and overcomes in me; and I live and breathe in her, and from
her I hold my life and being. O whoreson villain! how ungrateful art thou,
that seest thyself exalted out from the dust of the earth to be a nobleman,
and yet dost repay so great a benefit with detracting the person that bestowed
it on thee!`
Sancho was not so sore hurt but that he could hear all his master`s
reasons very well; wherefore, arising somewhat hastily, he ran behind Dorothea
her palfrey, and from thence said to his lord, `Tell me, sir, if you be not
determined to marry with this princess, it is most clear that the kingdom
shall not be yours; and if it be not, what favours can you be able to do to
me? It is of this that I complain me. Marry yourself one for one with this
princess, now that we have her here as it were rained to us down from heaven,
and you may after turn to my Lady Dulcinea; for I think there be kings in the
world that keep lemans. As for beauty, I will not intermeddle; for, if I must
say the truth, each of both is very fair, although I have never seen the Lady
Dulcinea.` `How! hast thou not seen her, blasphemous traitor?` quoth Don
Quixote, `As if thou didst but even now bring me a message from her!` `I say,`
quoth Sancho, `I have not seen her so leisurely as I might particularly note
her beauty and good parts one by one, but yet in a clap, as I saw them, they
liked me very well.` `I do excuse thee now,` said Don Quixote, `and pardon me
the displeasure which I have given unto thee, for the first motions are not in
our hands.` `I see that well,` quoth Sancho, `and that is the reason why talk
is in me of one of those first motions, and I cannot omit to speak once, at
least, that which comes to my tongue.` `For all that, Sancho,` replied Don
Quixote, `see well what thou speakest; for "the earthen pitcher goes so oft to
the water" - I will say no more.`
`Well, then,` answered Sancho, `God is in heaven, who seeth all these
guiles, and shall be one day judge of him that sins most - of me in not
speaking well, or of you by not doing well.` `Let there be no more,` quoth
Dorothea, `but run, Sancho, and kiss your lord`s hand, and ask him
forgiveness, and from henceforth take more heed how you praise or dispraise
anybody, and speak no ill of that Lady Toboso, whom I do not know otherwise
than to do her service; and have confidence in God, for thou shalt not want a
lordship wherein thou mayst live like a king.` Sancho went with his head
hanging downward, and demanded his lord`s hand, which he gave unto him with a
grave countenance; and after he had kissed it, he gave him his blessing, and
said to him that he had somewhat to say unto him, and therefore bade him to
come somewhat forward, that he might speak unto him. Sancho obeyed; and both
of them going a little aside, Don Quixote said unto him, `I have not had
leisure after thy coming to demand of thee in particular concerning the
ambassage that thou carriedst, and the answer that thou broughtst back; and
therefore, now fortune lends us some opportunity and leisure, do not deny me
the happiness which thou mayst give me by thy good news.`
`Demand what you please,` quoth Sancho, `and I will answer you; and I
request you, good my lord, that you be not from henceforth so wrathful.` `Why
dost thou say so, Sancho?` quoth Don Quixote. `I say it,` replied Sancho,
`because that these blows which you bestowed now, were rather given in revenge
of the dissension which the devil stirred between us two the other night, than
for anything I said against my Lady Dulcinea, whom I do honour and reverence
as a relique, although she be none, only because she is yours.` `I pray thee,
good Sancho,` said Don Quixote, `fall not again into those discourses, for
they offend me. I did pardon thee then, and thou knowest that a new offence
must have a new penance.`
As they talked thus, they espied a gallant coming towards them, riding on
an ass, and when he drew near he seemed to be an Egyptian; but Sancho Panza,
who, whensoever he met any asses, followed them with his eyes and his heart,
as one that thought still on his own, had scarce eyed him when he knew that it
was Gines of Passamonte, and, by the look of the Egyptian, found out the
fleece of his ass, as in truth it was; for Gines came riding on his grey ass,
who, to the end he might not be known, and also have commodity to sell his
beast, attired himself like an Egyptian, whose language and many others he
could speak as well as if they were his mother tongue. Sancho saw him and knew
him; and scarce had he seen and taken notice of him, when he cried out aloud,
`Ah! thief, Ginesillo! leave my goods behind thee, set my life loose, and do
not intermeddle with my ease! Leave mine ass, leave my comfort! Fly, villain!
absent thyself, thief! and abandon that which is none of thine!` He needed not
to have used so many words and frumps, for Gines leaped down at the very
first, and beginning a trot, that seemed rather to be a gallop, he absented
himself, and fled far enough from them in a moment. Sancho went then to his
ass, and, embracing him, said, `How hast thou done hitherto, my darling and
treasure, grey ass of mine eyes, and my dearest companion?` and with that
stroked and kissed him as if it were a reasonable creature. The ass held his
peace, and permitted Sancho to kiss and cherish him, without answering a word.
All the rest arrived, and congratulated with Sancho for the finding of his
ass, but chiefly Don Quixote, who said unto him that notwithstanding that he
found his ass, yet would not he therefore annul his warrant for the three
colts; for which Sancho returned him very great thanks.
Whilst they two travelled together discoursing thus, the curate said to
Dorothea that she had very discreetly discharged herself, as well in the
history as in her brevity and imitation thereof to the phrase and conceits of
books of knighthood. She answered that she did ofttimes read books of that
subject, but that she knew not where the provinces lay, nor seaports, and
therefore did only say at random that she had landed in Osuna. `I knew it was
so,` quoth the curate, `and therefore I said what you heard, wherewithal the
matter was soldered. But is it not a marvellous thing to see with what
facility the unfortunate gentleman believes all these inventions and lies,
only because they bear the style and manner of the follies laid down in his
books?` `It is,` quoth Cardenio, `and that so rare and beyond all conceit, as
I believe, if the like were to be invented, scarce could the sharpest wits
devise such another.`
`There is yet,` quoth the curate, `as marvellous a matter as that; for,
leaving apart the simplicities which this good gentleman speaks concerning his
frenzy, if you will commune with him of any other subject whatsoever, he will
discourse on it with an excellent method, and show himself to have a clear and
pleasing understanding; so that, if he be not touched by matters of chivalry,
there is no man but will deem him to be of a sound and excellent judgment.`
Don Quixote on the other side prosecuted his conversing with his squire
whilst the others talked together, and said to Sancho, `Let us two, friend
Panza, forget old injuries, and say unto me now, without any rancour or anger,
where, how, and when didst thou find my Lady Dulcinea? What did she when thou
camest? What saidst thou to her? What answered she? What countenance showed
she as she read my letter? And who writ it out fairly for thee? And every
other thing that thou shalt think worthy of notice in this affair to be
demanded or answered, without either addition or lying, or soothing adulation;
and on the other side do not abbreviate it, lest thou shouldst defraud me
thereby of expected delight.` `Sir,` answered Sancho, `if I must say the
truth, none copied out the letter for me; for I carried no letter at all.`
`Thou sayst true,` quoth Don Quixote; `for I found the tablets wherein it
was written with myself two days after thy departure, which did grieve me
exceedingly, because I knew not what thou wouldst do when thou didst perceive
the want of the letter, and I always made full account that thou wouldst
return again from the place where thou shouldst first miss it.` `I had done
so,` quoth Sancho, `if I had not borne it away in memory, when you read it to
me, in such sort as I said to a clerk of a vestry, who did copy it out of my
understanding so point by point, as he said that he never in all the days of
his life, although he had read many a letter of excommunication, read or seen
so fine a letter as it was.` `And dost thou hold it yet in memory, Sancho?`
quoth Don Quixote.
`No sir,` said Sancho; `for after I gave it, seeing it served for none
other purpose, I did willingly forget is; and if I remember anything, it is
that of the "mouldy" - I would say "sovereign lady"; and the end, "yours until
death, the Knight of the Ill - favoured Face"; and I put between these two
things in the letter three hundred souls, and lives, and sweet yes.`
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